"Look, let me put it this way: with me, you’re number one and there isn’t even a number two."

Charles Bukowski (via sittinginyourlapandtakingadrag)

(Source: 5tabrigadadepoetasambulantes, via h0odrich)

I THOUGHT I WAS BAD. You think you’re having a heart attack because you biked .5 of a mile faster than normal? What a disgrace to the human body. Maybe if you didn’t stay up all night, and drink only caffeine and eat ramen you wouldnt feel that way. Maybe if you got all your daily vitamins, a good nights rest, and the appropriate amount of water for a god damn human you wouldnt feel like you’re having a heart attack. Maybe all the acne you complain about day and night would go away because the face wash I fucking got you won’t work if you don’t fucking work with it. Maybe you’d be able to fix this lifestyle if you could keep a job, or any money you get in general. All you spend it on is shit you fucking want. You don’t deserve an xbox if you let it take over your sleep and other people’s rest. You don’t deserve to stay here if you keep everyone up with loud music. Do you expect me to pay for all the shit you actually need? I’m stressed out enough as it is, clearly you’re not. And all the pansy excuses you bring upon me don’t mean shit because they’re all just things you once had the opportunity to fix but didnt. Take school for example, am I gonna marry a drop out? Or will you get off your god damn xbox and get a GED for once? PATHETIC.

I love you though, and I always will. There’s nothing that could ever stop me. All I have to do to realize that is look at my life before you showed up. We all make mistakes and I just notice a lot of yours because I’m so capable of the same. I don’t know where I’m going in life, and what I’m going to do when I have responsibilities like yours. But I do know that before you, I had no motivation for anything. I didn’t care, I didn’t care if I had no future, nothing mattered because in my mind my solution to everything would have been death. If I dropped of school, had no motivation to work, got kicked out of my parents I would have fucking said goodbye to it all and killed myself, that was my plan for life. How could I ever stay mad at someone who has saved my life? As for you, you had no motivation to do anything because any efforts you made brought you down. So no wonder. I see you improving mentally and physically more and more everyday. Your doing really good, your making some money! And one day you’ll make that money and know to spend it on things that matter more. As of now, we should have a little fun, how could I mind that? And of course we have no motivation, because we spent so long not needing it. But we are slowly but surely doing better than we ever have. What we’ve been through is nothing like where we’re going to.